Friendships & Giving
Written by Julie Goldstein
A few decades ago, I was at a close friend’s outdoor wedding near my home in a small Colorado mountain town. Standing next to me was the Executive Director of a prominent environmental publication. We had a few minutes of conversation and hit it off personally. Within a couple of months, this budding friendship branched out into a giving relationship and several friendships that spanned about 20 years. More recently on a river trip with my teenager, we bonded with one of the river guides who also runs an educational non-profit for writers and creatives. I later joined two of the organization’s retreats, and after experiencing firsthand their work with students, I was inspired to support the scholarship fund at her organization. We continue to share stories of each other’s dreams of making a difference in this world.
I could give you many other examples of both intentional and unintentional connections with leaders of organizations that have become deep friendships and enriched my life in multiple ways over the years. I’m honored to know that in certain cases, these friendships can be a two-way street for the leaders of these organizations as well.
One of my dear friends is Robert Bank, President and CEO of American Jewish World Service. It’s another relationship in my life that has only strengthened across decades. He describes our friendship as one where “we engage in expansive thinking together, study and reflect together, travel, eat, laugh, and cry together, all as we are getting more and more proximate to the purpose for which the organization was created.” Robert’s partnerships with his donors are built upon mutual passion for the cause. “It’s these deep relationships that create the change. There are few things more meaningful than working together to make the world a better place.”
Philanthropy can be isolating work both for a leader of an organization and for donors such as myself who run foundations without any other staff. Another friend, Christina Lowery, CEO of Girl Rising, agrees with me about the loneliness of operating with a small staff and other team members who are dispersed across the country and globe. She summed it up so beautifully by saying, “the pressures are myriad and the need we are trying to meet in the world is a heavy one. To have a close relationship with a donor who becomes a friend is a stabilizing source for the leader.” She stresses that a close relationship between a donor and herself is based on the ability to be authentic about each other’s life and the work, “not sugarcoating or painting just a rosy picture, but being honest about the complexity of it all.” Like me, she believes that connecting as human beings first is what leads to rewarding work between a donor and her role as the leader of Girl Rising.
I am blessed with so many meaningful relationships and friendships that blossomed from thoughtful and intentional philanthropy, as well as my intuitive sense for the people leading the organizations. This type of relational giving leads to more personally meaningful giving—and maybe it’s even more effective. It’s more than just supporting good work being done in the world. It is also about becoming a source of support for the leaders of these organizations, as Christina mentioned.